Time does strange things.
Silence does stranger things.
I'm at that point where I don't even know anymore because I can't read my own emotions.
But life has been too full speed ahead for me to really process anything.
I know that God is constant and beyond all the blurriness of everything I can and can't see.
He is the light and He will bring clarity. This brings so much peace to my weary soul.
PS. I've injured my achilles tendon, and I don't know how. Get pain shooting up my calf every time I lift my foot off the ground. But this too is fading. God is healer.
Monday, 7 May 2018
Sunday, 29 April 2018
perfect love casts out fear
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, for fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:18-19
Friday, 27 April 2018
Mornings are hardest
The mornings are hardest. Waking out of a dream, having to face reality and uncertainty and deadlines and dreaded silence.
Lord God, restore my childlike faith. So thankful for these little guys reminding me what’s most important.
Gotta take time to breathe and reach down, deep down, and touch that joy again - the one that never fades. That joy of knowing Jesus now and forever.
“He’s higher than a skyscraper
And deeper than a submarine
He’s wider than the universe
And beyond my wildest dreams
And He’s known me and He’s loved me
Since before the world began
How wonderful to be a part of God’s amazing plan.”
~ Our God is a great big God
These snapshots from the park a few days ago - so good for the soul ✨
What's behind a smile?
What’s behind a smile?
Maybe you go to sleep shaking with anxiety or wake up every morning to cry. It’s worse some mornings more than others. You work yourself up, you laugh you talk but inside you’re caving in and outside you're stuck in the tedium of of deadlines and word counts while everyone else seems to be stepping into something much more profound and beautiful. I'm happy for you, I'm so happy for you. But then you come back here. To your phone. To the bedhead. Waiting for something, anything. What you do find, when you do find something, is something that creates even more uncertainty and puzzlement. But most of all the silence is slowly poisoning your veins and you feel it even though it’s unspoken: rejection. Why do hearts seem to go one way when you know it’s a no through road. A dead end. Still travels stubbornly towards something only it can see, a dying ember, while the rest of you is screaming it’s not gonna work.
...
I’m thankful that my God gives me joy that’s deeper than the flood of tears and His Spirit brings me back to that childlike faith and communion with Jesus my Lord. He meets me right here, right in the mess that I can't even articulate. It’s not easy it never is but God’s bigger than all of this. I look up to the skies and smile because the God who made all that, who's bigger than all that, is looking out for me.
...
What do you do when something bigger than you falls into your lap?
...
Striving to be a woman who can throw her head back and laugh with pure joy and wonder and assurance—such deep assurance from His overflowing grace—yes, to laugh at the days to come.
Saturday, 7 April 2018
fight the blues
those little things that make you smile
those prayers answered so unexpectedly
the way of waiting is not always wearisome
the joy of the Lord is my strength
He colours my world
He rejuvenates my life
I wait on Him
For all things to come to completion
Friday, 30 March 2018
Monday, 19 February 2018
No escaping His love
One of those days where God won’t stop at nothing to remind me of His unshakeable, incomparable love. It was a long drive but the mental strain was longer, deeper and more anguishing than before. I finally parked at work, put up the sun shield, looked up and saw this in the rear view mirror.
How much does He love me? From one nailed and bloodied hand to the other, stretched out on a tree, willingly suffering and dying in my place, so that I might know Him — deeply, richly, abundantly. So that I might know God.
What a powerful reminder. And exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment. Only God could’ve organised that.
There’s no escaping His love.
#Amen #PraiseJesus #Godisgood #checkyourmirrors
Sunday, 11 February 2018
a little bold and crazy
Ever done something a little bold and crazy and out of the blue?
Or should I say out of the blues. Cause that's what I was falling into till I made the crazy leap last minute. I basically 180 degree turned around from everything I'd been preparing myself for for the last three months. And there is a literal dimension to being so last minute, but I won't go into too many details.
It's funny when you set your mind on something and it seems so right and clear, even though you know it's going to be painful. But there's a part of you that still dreams.
Kind of like Arwen, on the passage to leave Middle Earth and sail to the Undying Lands, but a vision of a future almost gone turns her completely around. And she's gonna fight for it because it is not lost.
There's a reality in that dream, and maybe it's not as far away as everyone else might say it is.
No, I didn't get a vision or anything like that. But I've had some enlightening conversations lately that did make me somewhat turn from what I had previously decided, and right now I just need to throw myself into the safe arms of my Heavenly Father, because I know He's unfolding His rich and glorious plan for my life and He'll use both my action and inaction for His purposes. I just need the wisdom to know what action to take. But sometimes the line between wisdom and folly gets clouded by feelings and thoughts. I can see how God used my spontaneous moment of crazy, for which I had my own feeble imaginings of how it would turn out, and He turned it into a far greater testimony and answer to the prayer of other saints, a little disappointment encased in a more profound purpose and unveiling of what gifts of kindness and patience and hope in God that I could offer to bless others, rather than what gifts I might receive to satisfy my temporal needs. It's better to give than to receive. God is teaching me that - through my foolishness and desires for this and that, He's letting His wisdom shine through.
Oh God, please and revive and restore and orchestrate in Your own wonderful way the way things are meant to be. I am your humble vessel. I feel everything keenly. But I see how you work through me, to bring me out of the blues and into the view of You through the Cross. Always bring me back to You just like you did this week.
Or should I say out of the blues. Cause that's what I was falling into till I made the crazy leap last minute. I basically 180 degree turned around from everything I'd been preparing myself for for the last three months. And there is a literal dimension to being so last minute, but I won't go into too many details.
It's funny when you set your mind on something and it seems so right and clear, even though you know it's going to be painful. But there's a part of you that still dreams.
Kind of like Arwen, on the passage to leave Middle Earth and sail to the Undying Lands, but a vision of a future almost gone turns her completely around. And she's gonna fight for it because it is not lost.
There's a reality in that dream, and maybe it's not as far away as everyone else might say it is.
No, I didn't get a vision or anything like that. But I've had some enlightening conversations lately that did make me somewhat turn from what I had previously decided, and right now I just need to throw myself into the safe arms of my Heavenly Father, because I know He's unfolding His rich and glorious plan for my life and He'll use both my action and inaction for His purposes. I just need the wisdom to know what action to take. But sometimes the line between wisdom and folly gets clouded by feelings and thoughts. I can see how God used my spontaneous moment of crazy, for which I had my own feeble imaginings of how it would turn out, and He turned it into a far greater testimony and answer to the prayer of other saints, a little disappointment encased in a more profound purpose and unveiling of what gifts of kindness and patience and hope in God that I could offer to bless others, rather than what gifts I might receive to satisfy my temporal needs. It's better to give than to receive. God is teaching me that - through my foolishness and desires for this and that, He's letting His wisdom shine through.
Oh God, please and revive and restore and orchestrate in Your own wonderful way the way things are meant to be. I am your humble vessel. I feel everything keenly. But I see how you work through me, to bring me out of the blues and into the view of You through the Cross. Always bring me back to You just like you did this week.
Thursday, 1 February 2018
in silence and tears
Came across this poem randomly by Lord Byron. Too good not to share.
What a clincher.
What a clincher.
When We Two Parted
When we two parted In silence and tears, Half broken-hearted To sever for years, Pale grew thy cheek and cold, Colder thy kiss; Truly that hour foretold Sorrow to this. The dew of the morning Sunk chill on my brow-- It felt like the warning Of what I feel now. Thy vows are all broken, And light is thy fame; I hear thy name spoken, And share in its shame. They name thee before me, A knell to mine ear; A shudder comes o’er me-- Why wert thou so dear? They know not I knew thee, Who knew thee too well-- Long, long shall I rue thee, Too deeply to tell. In secret we met-- In silence I grieve, That thy heart could forget, Thy spirit deceive. If I should meet thee After long years, How should I greet thee?-- With silence and tears.
Tuesday, 2 January 2018
he will not fall
As I was finishing a painting for my sister, the beginning phrase of this verse came to mind.
"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him;
though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37:23-24 NIV
I had the shock of my life opening my Bible for the first time yesterday when a cockroach came crawling out. But with the cockroach dead and the Bible alive for all eternity, I'd say two things: 1) no matter what cockroaches come at me this year, God's word is truth and remains forever, 2) out with the old and the filthy and in with the new, and newness starts with soaking in the goodness and wonder and power of God's forever Word.
I feel so blessed that God would call to mind a verse that I had not thought about at all, one that I can write on the back of the canvas to encourage my sister, yet it's also verse that speaks so clearly to my wandering heart, connecting powerfully with the verse from Isaiah that ended my 2017 and began my 2018, and confirming what God has been trying to show me in relation to an earlier verse from very the same Psalm in fact (mindblowing!): "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart" (37:4).
There is no alteration with God and there is no darkness with Him. Every time He speaks, there is light and life. Ever since He let there be light on the earth on the very first day. I look forward to what light and life He will bring this year.
Forever in Him,
Emily
PS. Happy New Year :)
"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him;
though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37:23-24 NIV
I had the shock of my life opening my Bible for the first time yesterday when a cockroach came crawling out. But with the cockroach dead and the Bible alive for all eternity, I'd say two things: 1) no matter what cockroaches come at me this year, God's word is truth and remains forever, 2) out with the old and the filthy and in with the new, and newness starts with soaking in the goodness and wonder and power of God's forever Word.
I feel so blessed that God would call to mind a verse that I had not thought about at all, one that I can write on the back of the canvas to encourage my sister, yet it's also verse that speaks so clearly to my wandering heart, connecting powerfully with the verse from Isaiah that ended my 2017 and began my 2018, and confirming what God has been trying to show me in relation to an earlier verse from very the same Psalm in fact (mindblowing!): "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart" (37:4).
There is no alteration with God and there is no darkness with Him. Every time He speaks, there is light and life. Ever since He let there be light on the earth on the very first day. I look forward to what light and life He will bring this year.
Forever in Him,
Emily
PS. Happy New Year :)
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