It's come to the end of 2017 and I've had a pretty rough and heavily teary couple of days just trying to adjust to the big life changes and reflecting on why some things I'd hoped for never came to pass and other things I'd probably least expected to have happened—happened. And there's been a whole lot of trauma this year and a painful realisation that maybe God's been giving me the answer to one of the prayers of my heart, but it wasn't the answer I was hoping for, which is why I've been blind to it these last five or so months. Either way, it's time enough for me to move on and move forward into the fresh mercy of a new year, and by God's grace, I can reach a place that's even more profound and glorious and wonderful and eye-opening than where I was before all the pain and trauma and dashed hopes.
It comes back to trusting God, and continually declaring His goodness, and knowing that I am putting my trust in a God who is so much bigger than my struggles and my questions and my failures, hopes and dreams. I am putting my trust in a God who is faithful, which means He will do it. He's proven His faithfulness all throughout the Bible, but most clearly in the reality of the saving Cross. I'm not trusting in someone who's unreliable, I'm trusting in Someone who's every thought and action towards little me will be for my good and my best interests. And His plans always find their fulfilment. That is a huge comfort.
Sometimes we wish we knew things about ourselves or about the future, but I've only just discovered that if we did, we'd have a weaker faith in God and put our faith in our own knowledge and ability. Indeed, the fact that we know less strengthens our faith in the God who knows all and intricately works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are the called according His purpose.
I've known God's healing in a deep way this year, and I've witnessed with my own eyes and ears His power working through prophetic gifts and miracles - big and small. This life on earth is anything but boring.
My Mum sent me some verses of encouragement yesterday and this one from Isaiah was the very last one. I hadn't heard it before so it really spoke to me. The more I dwell on it, I feel tears coming on. This relationship with God is beautiful and intimate and real and the greatest thing I'll ever know or experience in the Universe.
This is definitely a promise I will take into 2018 and beyond.
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| one year ago, at Cradle Mountain... |
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